Written by Tom Holt
Read by Ray Sawyer
Format: MP3
Bitrate: Variable
Unabridged




Title: Blonde Bombshell - UNABRIDGED

Author: Tom Holt

Narrated by Ray Sawyer

LENGTH: 14 hrs and 50 mins

Summary:

A heart-warming tale of Armageddon from one of the funniest, most original voices in comic fiction today....

The third planet out from the star was blue, with green splodges. Dirt. Oh, the bomb thought. And then its courage, determination and nobility-of-spirit subroutines cut in, overriding everything else, adrenalizing its command functions and bypassing its cyberphrenetic nodes. Here goes, said the bomb to it. Calibrate navigational pod. Engage primary thrusters. Ready auxiliary drive.

It knew, in that moment, that its own doom was near; because it was giving itself orders, and it wasn't putting in any 'the's. That was what you did, apparently, when the moment came. You could also turn on a flashing red beacon and a siren, but mercifully these were optional. Oh #//+! thought the bomb, and surged on towards Dirt like an avenging angel.


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J.W. Wells & Co. Series..............




Tom Holt - J.W. Wells & Co. - The Portable Door




(N.B.: This series is not numbered in the normal sense, however it is in fact the first book)



Read By: Raymond Sawyer




Unabridged: Yes




Runtime: 13h 27mn 52sec




Total Number of Audio Files: 11


R



Starting a new job is always stressful (particularly when you don't particularly want one), but when Paul Carpenter arrives at the office of H.W. Wells he has no idea what trouble lies in store. Because he is about to discover that the apparently respectable establishment now paying his salary is in fact a front for a deeply sinister organisation that has a mighty peculiar agenda.



It seems that half the time his bosses are away with the fairies. But they're not, of course. They're away with the goblins.


Mister Tom Holt, Master of the Comic Fantasy Novel, cordially invites you to join him in his world of madness by reading his next hilarious masterpiece.



Dress: informal.

RSVP to Orbit Books.

Bring a bottle.




Praise for Tom Holt:



'Uniquely twisted ... cracking gags' Rob Grant, THE GUARDIAN

'

Frantically wacky and wilfully confusing ... gratifyingly clever and very amusing' MAIL ON SUNDAY



'Frothy, fast and funny' SCOTLAND ON SUNDAY

'Dazzling' TIME OUT

'Wildly imaginative' NEW SCIENTIST




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Tom Holt - J.W. Wells & Co. - In Your Dreams

(N.B.: This series is not numbered in the normal sense, however it is in fact the second book)

Read By: Raymond Sawyer




Unabridged: Yes


Runtime: 16h 40mn 44sec


Total Number of Audio Files: 30


J.W. Wells seems a respectable establishment, but the company now paying Paul Carpenter's salary is in fact a deeply sinister organisation with a mighty peculiar agenda.

Since he graduated from office junior to clerk, he has wrestled with goblins, travelled hundreds of miles in the blink of an eye and spent hours doing dangerous office admin.

Now, just when he thought he might be getting the hang of it he is transferred to the pest control department. This is otherwise known as slaying dragons, werewolves and other such monstrous creatures which Paul had, until recently, fondly believed didn't exist. This isn't the best time to discover that his company is involved in a long and bitter war against the Fey.

However, there is a bright side. Sophie might have dumped him then left for Hollywood, but junior school sweetheart Melze is a wonderful compensation ...



Praise for Tom Holt:

'Uniquely twisted ... cracking gags' Rob Grant, THE GUARDIAN

'Frantically wacky and wilfully confusing ... gratifyingly clever and very amusing' MAIL ON SUNDAY

'Frothy, fast and funny' SCOTLAND ON SUNDAY

'Dazzling' TIME OUT

'Wildly imaginative' NEW SCIENTIST


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Tom Holt - J.W. Wells & Co. - Earth, Air, Fire and Custard




(N.B.: This series is not numbered in the normal sense, however it is in fact the third book)




Read By: Raymond Sawyer




Unabridged: Yes




Runtime: 19h 11mn 38sec




Total Number of Audio Files: 16








J.W. Wells seemed to be a respectable establishment, but the company now paying Paul Carpenter's salary is in fact a deeply sinister organisation with a mighty peculiar management team.



Paul thought he was getting the hang of it (particularly when he fell head over heels for his strangely alluring colleague Sophie), but death is never far away when you work at J.W. Wells. Unlike the stapler -- that's always going AWOL.



Our lovestruck hero is about to discover that custard is definitely in the eye of the beholder. And that it really stings.

Tom Holt's exceedingly comic fantasies are populated with evil goblins, annoying sprites and people like us.

However, it's not always possible to tell the difference.



Praise for Tom Holt:

'Uniquely twisted ... cracking gags' Rob Grant,

THE GUARDIAN

'Frantically wacky and wilfully confusing ... gratifyingly clever and very amusing'77 MAIL ON SUNDAY



'Frothy, fast and funny' SCOTLAND ON SUNDAY



'Dazzling' TIME OUT



'Wildly imaginative' NEW SCIENTIST





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Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Sausages UNABRIDGED

by Tom Holt

Narrated by Ray Sawyer

LENGTH 15 hrs and 34 mins

Short Summary:

Polly, an average, completely ordinary property lawyer, is convinced she's losing her mind. Someone keeps drinking her coffee. And talking to her clients. And doing her job. And when she goes to the dry cleaner's to pick up her dress for the party, it's not there. Not the dress - the dry cleaner's. And then there are the chickens who think they are people. Something strange is definitely going on - and it's going to take more than a magical ring to sort it out.





Long Summary:

Tom Holt is back with a hilarious tale of magic, real estate, and a very important pig.

Polly is a real estate solicitor. She is also losing her mind. Someone keeps drinking her coffee. And talking to her clients. And doing her job. And when she goes to the dry cleaner’s to pick up her dress for the party, it’s not there. Not the dress – the dry cleaner’s.

And then there are the chickens who think they are people. Something strange is definitely going on – and it’s going to take more than a magical ring to sort it out.

The review:
Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Sausages is my first introduction to Tom Holt’s writing, and what a fun introduction it was. I often start these reviews by talking about what or who the story is about. The who is easy enough, at first. Early on the narrator spends time primarily with brother and sister Don and Polly. Polly’s been having an odd time at work: returning to her desk to find that someone has drank her coffee, opening files to finish her work only to find that someone else has already finished it for her, and the dress she needs disappears along with the dry cleaner’s where she’d left it.

Something’s a bit hinky, and somehow it has something to do with the mathematics-inclined sow we meet in chapter one. How the two things are linked is a fun mystery to read, though it doesn’t seem like much fun for the characters, who have their lives turned upside down and inside out.

After meeting the sow, Don, and Polly, we gradually meet Mr. Huos, who apparently has the ability to do really nifty things like magic, and moving tectonic plates. The Williamses are living examples of those WWII propganda posters that say “keep calm and carry on,” which is exactly what they do when their lives are hijacked by the insanity unfolding in the novel. Then there is Mr. Gogerty, an investigator who specializes in, to paraphrase Polly, “weird.” It is through Gogerty, investigating the disappearance of a very important object, that various pieces of the “what the heck is going on?” puzzle begin to fit together.

As I was reading I was thinking that this felt like a mash up of Monty Python humor, China Mieville’s weird, and the pefectly paced mystery, with all the clues dropping in exactly the right place. I had a lot of fun reading Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Sausages, and I’ll be looking up Holt’s other works now.

I’m pretty sure I did an inadequate job of communicating how funny I found this novel, but if you had seen me reading, you would’ve heard my little snort of amusement every few pages, seen me slap my hand over my mouth as I tried not to laugh too loudly whilst reading during lunch at work, and the generally dumb grin I had on my face the entire time I read it. It really was an entertaining read. If British humor is your thing at all, Holt’s your author, I believe.


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End