"You wouldn't call my Mum pretty. Nah, she's not even average in the looks department. Not that her nose is too long or short or she's cross-eyed or has pixie-like ears. No, it's just that God was in an indecisive mood when he put her together. He made the frame all right, but when he reached the face he ran out of ideas to construct anything new, or so it seems to me. I think he just picked up the leftovers from the day and glued them on the surface. None of them seem to belong together..."